Friday 26th March 2010
I turned on my left side facing the window and tried to close my eyes. I fell asleep after shedding a couple of tears. When I woke up I felt like I had been asleep for a good couple of hours but when I looked at the clock I realised that I had slept for just over an hour as the clock said 06:35. Unfortunately I couldn’t get back to sleep as all I could hear were people walking up and down the corridor with their feet shuffling along in their slippers and babies crying in the distance. I lay on the bed watching the hands on the clock moving very slowly. At about 07:55 a midwife popped her head around the door and said that breakfast was being served in the day room. I got out of bed very gingerly and made my way, in bare feet as I had nothing with me, to get myself some breakfast. I helped myself to one weetabix before sitting down at a table. This was not very comfortable as the chair was a hard wooden one which was not nice on my stitches. Once I had eaten the weetabix I helped myself to a slice of toast and a cup of tea before making my way back to my room to eat them. It was a bit more comfortable but not much. Once I had finished, I lay back on the bed and again watched the clock. It was the longest morning that I have ever known.
At around 11:30, a midwife came in to ask if I was ok and also to say that if I wanted to go and see Joshua then they could arrange for someone to take me up to the unit. I said that I would love to go up so she went to arrange for someone to take me. A nurse/midwife arrived with a wheelchair and took me up to the unit. It was like travelling through a maze and if anyone asked me to find my own way back to the ward I don’t think I would have managed it.
We went into the unit and I was taken to bay number 7 which is the bay that Joshua’s incubator was. I sat in the wheelchair looking at Joshua surrounded by all the wires that were helping him. He was on a low amount of pure oxygen. I stayed with Joshua for about half an hour until it was time for me to go back to the ward for lunch. I reluctantly went back with the nurse that came to take me back. I then decided to have lunch brought to my room as I didn’t feel up to sitting around all the new mums that had their babies with them. It was fish, chips and peas for lunch with rice pudding to finish off. I managed to eat some of the fish and chips at a slow pace but stopped eating when the door to my room opened and in walked Chris.
I was so happy to see him and he came straight over to give me a hug. I then found out that he had rung up in the morning to find out how I was but I hadn’t heard this. He had brought me some things so I got changed into some pyjamas and slippers before going off the ward where Margaret was waiting outside the ward. Visiting times were not very co-ordinating; visiting for grandparents to see Joshua was between 1 and 3, then visiting for the ward where I was staying was between 6 and 9. We went up to the unit where we spent some quality time with our son. When 3 o’clock came about, Chris and Margaret went back home after seeing me back to the ward, promising me that they would be back that evening with Dan.
I then had another boring wait until they came which was only just bearable. I didn’t feel comfortable at this stage to go to see Joshua on my own. Tea was served at about 5:30 so I had this before Chris, Margaret and Dan came.
It was lovely to see Dan as well as Margaret and Chris again. We had a lovely chat and showed Dan some pictures. Unfortunately Dan was not allowed in to see Joshua as the rules were parents and grandparents only. This is to prevent the spread of infection so do understand this. Before Chris went home with his mum and brother, we went upstairs to say goodnight to Joshua.
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