It had been an okayish nights sleep where I woke up once to start my expressing. Had started this yesterday afternoon and am trying to get my supply going. Only managing to get a few mls each time but hopefully this will improve. Chris came at 9 o’clock which was when visiting time was for him. We then went up to see Joshua who had had a stable night. However around lunch time, he starts to show signs of difficulty and we were warned that the next few hours were critical. We are asked if we would like to have him baptized and we say yes to this. The nurses arrange for the priest to come from the chapel to do this and he comes within the next half hour. We are lucky to have my mum and dad there for this special occasion but this is only possible due to them being in the car park ready for visiting time at 1pm so they come up and join us. We have him baptized and we then feel ready to touch him. Up to now, we have just looked at him through the incubator. We use the hand gel before we put our hands in through the portholes of the incubator. It feels so nice just having our hands on Joshua and feeling his chest rise up and down when he breathes. When it comes to 3pm, we see mum and dad out and then go back to my room where i do some more expressing. We go back up to Joshua once we have finished expressing and he has perked up again. It is definitely a rollercoaster ride for both emotions and how the baby is in health.
We have spent a couple of hours just watching Joshua with him kicking his legs out every now and again. It feels really nice watching his every move but also really heartbreaking as I think he should be doing that from the safety of my womb. It is now time to go back to the ward for my tea, and this is where, after tea has been eaten, one of the night staff (Julie) says that Chris can stay in my room tonight as they are aware that Joshua has had a very bad day and thought that I would like the support.
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